I felt like I had hit rock bottom, and it probably felt more like this because I was on the floor just overwhelmed. I felt so defeated. I lied there crying because I couldn't even provide for myself. I was straight-up broke. This was the summer of 2013 and I needed a job and badly. I was short on rent, I had a driving ticket that needed to be paid off, and I had no groceries. I could have been optimistic that day but I couldn't. I just broke down. Everywhere I turned I saw a problem I could not fix. I only saw my incapability to provide an answer, I felt ashamed and no one knew. I could remember glaring at my purple wall dazed thinking of all these financial issues. I cried and wailed to God, “to please help me.”
That day, I remember receiving a phone call from my good friend Jeannelle. I didn’t want to tell her my troubles but she could tell something was wrong. I told her how everything caught me by surprise and how I had no way of paying for anything. Instead of brushing off my problems my friend said to me “Get dressed, I will take you grocery shopping." I couldn’t believe how selfless she was being. My friend checked in on me and was offering me help. It made me cry even more because she didn’t have to do it.
Some of us can surround ourselves with many friends, but only have a few loyal confidants to open up to and truly trust with our feelings. I felt embarrassed, but my friend made it easy for me to open up to her. She probably had no idea how I would answer her call that day, but she was able to be an ear and a solution to one of my problems.
We often may not check-in on friends because we believe they are fine. Social media leads us to believe that they must look and feel exactly as their latest post, glowing & growing. However, we have no idea what happens beyond a touched-up photo. This past week I spoke to three friends I rarely speak to only to realize they each individually were going through a difficult time right now. As they spoke to me I couldn’t believe how they felt and how oblivious I was to their true feelings. I thought how far a simple phone call could go.
We must learn to check in on the friends even those who seem like they have it all together, because they may be jumping through hoops to keep it together. Sometimes, we are just looking to hear from someone, “that they get it, that they understand, or that they are here for us”. Imagine if you checked in on three friends weekly and they did the same, everyone would feel seen, heard & understood. You would be surprised by what your friends may be going through, and they are looking for the right person to help with their burden.
That day I realized how God placed my friend Jeannelle in my life, not just for that very moment, but to also show me what friendship should look like. Ask yourself, are you the kind of friend that will check-in, pray for them, and care to help be a solution at time?
If not, check yourself, and also check-in on your friends.
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24
