Do You Expose Your Friends?

Updated: Sep 12, 2019



When I got drunk, I had two big fears -either there would be no one to take care of me, or that my friends would later tell others that I’d gotten drunk.


I remember a time when I allowed myself to get completely wasted and later, had to hear about it from my friends. What was a story for laughter to others, was more a story of embarrassment to me.


By the end of the whole ordeal, someone who wasn’t even there would later say to me, “I heard about the time you got wasted.”


It really sucks when things happen that require you to rely on your friends to cover you, but instead, they end up exposing you.


Have you ever felt exposed and vulnerable to answer for what you have done? Or, have you ever exposed someone when they counted on you to protect them? Exposure happens, but it’s how you handle it that can make all the difference.

Have you ever felt exposed and vulnerable to answer for what you have done?

Life can be like a comic book. At times, things can seem more dramatic than they need to be. Sometimes, we get a rush from hearing juicy gossip or sharing new scandals.


In college, I witnessed far too many instances of people’s vindictiveness to air someone else’s dirty laundry. Sometimes intentionally, and other times, unintentionally. Either way, being exposed is like being a deer in headlights. You can be so caught off guard that you have no idea what to even say or do.


There are many different examples of how someone can be exposed by things they have done, said, or by who they used to be. There are times when you might expose someone during an argument, or even during a simple conversation that led you to speak about the person and their situation.

Sometimes intentionally, and other times, unintentionally. Either way, being exposed is like being a deer in headlights.

Not everyone has the intent to hurt, but things may lead there, as a byproduct.


During my freshman year, there was a situation where my roommate tried to help one of our good friends by keeping her from doing something she thought was unwise.


She wanted so badly to get her out of the situation. Therefore, to lead her from going astray, my roommate took matters into her own hands. Although her intentions were pure, it left our friend feeling exposed within a situation that she actually wanted to be in.


Our friend ended up feeling vulnerable for being viewed in a certain light. She was left exposed by everyone’s judgement about the decision she made. There are times when we expose people unintentionally, but with good intentions.

Nonetheless, we don’t get to pick and choose when information about someone should be told, especially when it’s not ours to share.

I once did something similar to a friend of mine. I tend to joke and make fun of people, never with the intention to hurt them, but as the word suggests, for “fun.”


I can sometimes go too far without realizing I’m doing so. I’d been joking around and made a comment in a conversation where everyone was shooting out zingers.


The statement I made was one that I assumed was humorous; it was about a flaw my friend had once made fun of about herself. However, this time, we were around mixed company when it was mentioned. She later came to me and revealed that she didn’t like how I’d exposed her. I apologized.


At the time, I couldn’t understand why mentioning her flaw was no longer funny, despite the two of us joking about it all the time. What made this time so different?


Maybe she had been dealing with it internally, or maybe she realized it wasn’t truly funny and had been trying to change that stigma about herself. Nonetheless, we don’t get to pick and choose when information about someone should be told, especially when it’s not ours to share.


We should always think about whether or not what we are saying and doing could be exposing someone else.

Can you be the type of friend to cover others, even if they’ve wronged you? And with information you believe is “harmless,” can you choose to cover them rather than expose them?

I n Genesis 9:20-23, Noah enjoyed some wine and became drunk one evening. He was so drunk that he ended up naked in his tent. Ham, his son, saw this and went to tell his brothers.


How many of us have found something out and immediately called a friend to talk about it? Ham was probably hoping his brothers would come see the humor in it to make “fun.” Instead, not even looking at their dad, they walked in backwards to cover him.


Have you ever wanted to protect someone so much that before someone could even utter their name, you redirected the conversation or stood up for them?


Ham’s brothers’ act of kindness led Noah to bless them because they honored him by not demeaning or belittling him for his actions.


Can you be the type of friend to cover others, even if they’ve wronged you? Also with information you believe is “harmless,” can you choose to cover them rather than expose them? Remember, exposure happens, but it’s what you do with it that makes all the difference.

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Luke 6:31





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