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5 Ways to Support Friends when you don’t necessarily want to, or know how to

Updated: Apr 27, 2019

Out of a list of 3 things my husband needed, the number one thing my husband asked for was support. I wasn't the best at supporting him when we were friends, so it troubled him to think that may repeat itself in us dating. However, he voiced how he felt and made sure I knew that this was important to him, because everyone needs support. Support is a necessary component in the world today in order for people to show that they believe, understand, and want to advance who you are and what you do. Support is to assist and bear part of the weight the person bears. Having support helps you to know that people care about what you are doing and thus it motivates you to keep moving forward.

Everyone is aspiring to do new and innovative things to reach their goals and maximum potential. I can’t log into social media without seeing someone I know doing something new. With so many, speakers, authors, entrepreneurs and business owners out there they need to know not only from others, but especially their friends, that they are on the right track. So how can we show our friends this type of support?


One way we can show support is by sharing to others about our aspiring friend. Social media is the best way to “share”. We have access to so many people. Therefore, sharing can get the word across about who a person is or a specific product. We may not care to share because we are too busy, may not believe the information pertains to us, or feel too embarrassed of the content to do so. However, if we don’t show an ounce of caring, our friends may not know if they are on the right track.

When a new pair of tennis shoes or a popular game is out, it is easy to share the news to others. However, if it doesn’t benefit us, we stay silent. Sometimes what is being shared may not benefit you but others who may need it. Care to share so others can also care the same for you. We all want to get to the top but, let us help push others up rather than watch them struggle.


This is one of the most difficult task for me. Having the ear of a friend, means they value your opinion and it can be hard to remove your own emotions from the situation in order to provide words of advice that is actually best for them. You may respect or love your friend so much that you want them to do the best. But is it their best “your best?” We can sometimes get so emotionally attached to their project that we fail to push them to do it the way that is best for them, but instead have them to do it “our” way. We sometimes may not want to support because it doesn’t meet our expectations. However, we should gear them with love and with helpful suggestions, not hurtful ones. Make it less about you and more about them.


Sometimes support comes in the form of your presence. If someone is grieving a loss, you automatically think, “I need to see how they are doing, or I need to talk to them or do something.” However, if you even simply show up, that makes a great deal and is probably a lot more helpful than forcing the person to talk. Despite no words being spoken, your presence helps brings a nonverbal support that is necessary. There will be times where your friends may need you to be at their events and you may not want to be there because you don’t care to go, or it doesn’t fit your schedule. However, you being there may speak volumes, and have them gain confidence from you just being there. Therefore, validating them to further their pursuit.


You won’t be able to be at every event and share things all the time and be a complete marketing team. But, don’t use “can’t’’ if there is no real opposition to you attending the event. The only other time it may be acceptable to not attend is if it may compromise your principles. Me, personally, I can’t or won’t do something if it doesn’t align with my views, schedule, or financial situation. These are things that I cannot compromise. However, if I’m free and I clearly can take time to do something it’s no longer “I can’t”, but “I won’t” do it. If you “can” then be there, be the person you hope to have as a support system.


Lastly, at the end of the day it’s about your love for that person or their cause. You may love the person and not necessarily the cause, but your love for them supersedes your unfavorable liking to their brand or business but support, nonetheless. Your love will show your ability to support. In loving them learn to ask them how their venture is going, and ask if they ever need help. Showing an ounce of care helps them feel your love towards them.

I realized the holy spirit is dealing on me with this topic because I felt hurt in the past by not receiving support from friends and loved ones to later realize that I also have done the same to others. I have struggled with this because I allow my emotions to dictate my response to a request or an act of service in reference to support. That is why we must learn to uplift one another. Especially if all the glory in the end goes to God. Therefore, can you be a supportive friend?


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