Letter to My Old-Self Challenge Winner!
Author: Andralia Fortune
I am someone who has always suffered from anxiety, fear, doubt, and worry. Ever since I was a little girl in Elementary school, I was always afraid of taking chances, trying new things, and stepping into new seasons.
My anxiety was so bad that I'd sometimes struggle to sleep on my own due to overthinking. I'd feel a sense of fear come over me sometimes in the middle of the night and I wouldn't even have the ability to put my feeling of fear into words. At that time I didn't know that I had anxiety and just thought something was wrong with me.
Fast forward a few years, now I'm an adult. I'm very independent, married, with a child, and with the career that I always wanted. After having a few episodes in my adult years, I decided to start counseling and it has helped me a lot.
My faith in God has also grown and strengthened because he has rescued and came through for me countless times. Even in the midst of this world wide pandemic, I've found peace. I must admit, that I struggled in the beginning, but once again God has shown me that he is reliable and still has everything under control.
If I could give my younger self a letter it would say something like....
1. Stop trying to control everything
Hi Andralia, you will make it. You don't need to fear. You can stop being afraid of the unknown because God really does have it under control. You don't need to control everything, because there will come many times when you will not be able to control anything and you will have to let go and allow God to do his perfect work. I know you don't really believe it now, but I promise that there will come a day that you will believe it without a doubt.
2. Embrace your name
Andralia, Andralia Sainvil. Embrace your name. Love your name. I know you hate it right now because it's the center of your identity crisis, but I promise that you will one day understand your identity and adore your name because of it.
3. Ignore negative opinions
Listen to me very clearly, don't let anyone's negativity or opinions about you define who you are. I mean no one! Yes, not even your family members.
4. No Longer doubt yourself
You no longer need to doubt yourself. You will make it and achieve your goals and more. You will graduate and get your degree, you will pass the teacher certification test (even though it'll take a lot of tries and money), and your dream to make a difference in the lives of teenagers will come true. You will inspire and help several teenagers.
5. Stop people Pleasing
Please understand when I say to no longer live your entire life trying to please people or a certain person (you know who I'm talking about). It doesn't matter what you do, it'll never ever be enough. If you keep doing that then you will grow up with a lot of resentment, regret, and anger towards this certain person. Let people go, live your life for you and God, and don't stress about disappointing anyone but God.
6. You will find love
Also, you will marry a wonderful man who loves you deeply, so don't worry about any guy who might have hurt you. Your heart will become whole again and you will one day be thankful that those boys walked out of your life.
7. You are Beautiful
You know I can't end without talking about your beauty. I know you don't believe it right now, but you truly are beautiful. Everything about you is gorgeous. One day you will come to truly believe that.
I love you, Andralia