More Than Just a Shade: Uncovering the Beauty in My Skin

Sophia Coulanges
Oct 14
4 min read

By Sophia Coulanges

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The Mirror and the Message

I didn’t always believe I was beautiful. In fact, “I used to stare in the mirror… and wonder why I didn’t look like them.”

My sisters.

My classmates.

The girls in the magazines.

I grew up as the darkest of my siblings.

Same blood, different shades.

And somehow, that made me feel like I was the wrong one; the wrong shade.

Shadows of Comparison

I lived in the shadows of comparison unspoken yet deeply felt. My siblings were lighter, and society didn’t hide its preferences. From jokes to subtle comments, some words were loud. Some were whispers but the message was loud and clear:

I wasn’t enough.

I wasn’t the pretty one.

My shade wasn’t the best shade.

The Weight of Silence

Those words settled deep, and for a long time, I let them define me. I hid behind others’ opinions, masked my pain, and carried a silence that felt safer than my truth. But silence carried its own weight.

Psalm 139:14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

I didn’t know that to be true because growing up I believed that beauty came in one shade and that shade clearly wasn’t mine.

I learned to stop showing up for myself. I dimmed. I shrank. I rebelled. I became the version of me I thought the world could tolerate. Small, insecure and voiceless.

But behind the smile was a little girl who felt unseen. Behind the strength was a woman fighting to be free from the imprisonment of her mind, fighting to believe the skin that I was in was the right one.

So, I built a wall. Not just to keep others out but to keep the wounded version of me hidden.

The Letter That Changed Everything

What changed?

Everything! I realized according to

Matthew 15:13 Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots.

I could no longer silence the little girl inside me. The one I had ignored, dismissed, and tried to outgrow. I sat down and wrote a letter to her. I apologized for the way I abandoned her. I acknowledged the pain she carried. I made her a promise: “I will never mistreat you again.”

That letter marked the beginning of a journey one of unlearning, of healing, of becoming.

I had to go backward to move forward.

Uprooting the Lies

I uprooted what they told me beauty looked like.

I uprooted that vulnerability was weakness. I uprooted that silence was safety.

I uprooted that the skin I was in was not a prison but my superpower.

I uprooted that the opinion of others was the garment I needed to be beautiful.

Meeting Her — The Girl I Left Behind

And in that unraveling, I met her.

The little girl within me.

The one I had abandoned.

The one I buried beneath years of silence, shame and fear.

The one I held captive, guarded by the voices of others who told me who I could and couldn’t be.

The more I shared my truth, the more I found my voice. the more I read the word the more I started to believe in who God created me to be. Fearless, bold, courageous and beautiful.

My voice became rooted in healing, purpose, and authenticity. Our stories, especially the painful ones, aren’t just ours. They’re testimonies for someone else. Your voice, the one you’ve silenced for years, might be the lifeline someone else is waiting for.

Becoming Bold, Beautiful, and Free

Today, I have the honor of creating spaces where other women and girls can do the same. Through women empowerments, coaching, and community events, I help others step into their voice, affirm their worth, and live unapologetically.

Whether it’s a young girl battling insecurity, a grown woman navigating her healing, or someone simply ready to begin again I remind them: you are not alone.

You are not your shame.

You are not your skin tone.

You are not the size of your pants.

You are not what they said about you.

You are becoming what god has preordained you to be!

Healing isn’t a straight line. It’s not a one-and-done experience. It’s the daily decision to silence the lies, speak the truth, and show up anyway. It’s choosing to love yourself on the days when you feel like shrinking.

It’s rewriting the narrative and speaking life over your own name. I am no longer bound by what happened to me. I’m not erasing my past I’m using it as fuel.