I don’t know if I was more embarrassed or angry. I couldn’t believe this. I was going to have to wait another year to graduate. I stood there as the dean was speaking to the class trying to make sense of the increase of students to teachers ratio and his solution for this. I hated that this had to happen. I thought this year was my year, but it seems that my time had not yet arrived.
It was the fall of 2012, and I was in my last semester of undergraduate architectural school and I was ready to be done with it. I was missing a couple of classes that needed to be taken. However, I had a physics class that should have been taken last year. The dean was finding ways to reduce the student class counts even if it meant students had to return next year. I needed to take architectural design 7 and because the classes were full and were only offered in the fall, I was now stuck.
I called my sister to tell her the horrible news, and she told me, “But you will still graduate, don’t worry” It seemed she saw the destination, whereas I only saw the hiccup. I couldn’t get past the fact that I would have to be there another year, some of my friends would be gone, and I would have to renew my apartment. I felt like a failure. I felt like what I strived for, I couldn’t reach. I couldn’t see how all this would work.
There are times we can have a vision for ourselves and something may come up to change what we have been striving for or we believe that the time spent is an indicator that something belongs to us. I had already spent four years, and so I felt like that Architectural degree belonged to me and I deserved it. I measured my success in being complete on time. This situation was an obstacle that conflicted with my plans.
Remember this, just because you planned something doesn’t mean the outcome will always come out as planned.
Although I came to grips of having to return to school for another year, it was the moment of spring 2013 graduation that all my residual feelings came back. I logged into social media with constant reminders that this should have been me! I watched as the class of 2013, gleaming with excitement knowing they had finished, they were now alumni of a university where I was still a student.
Have you ever felt like that? Have you felt jealous of a moment you believed belonged to you? Have you felt disappointed to watch yet another person do what you should be doing? It was very hard for me to put a smile on and congratulate my friends when deep down I wanted to be where they were.
If you are an entrepreneur, business person, mother, wife, single, or whatever position you hold, know your time is coming. Stop looking at what the next person is doing and thinking that should be you. What I didn’t tell you was that my GPA was low that year and that I would not have been able to get into graduate school. If I graduated when I “thought” I should have graduated, I would have moved back home with no plan. God protected me from this. You are still being prepared and pruned for what is yours.
That following year was the best year I ever had. My grades went up. I got an A in calculus, which I still can’t believe. I traveled to New Orleans and Chicago that year and I became the president of my organization. Additionally, the summer after graduation, I started a relationship with my now-husband. God knew exactly what the following year had in store for me despite the fact that I was angry, jealous, and embarrassed the year before. The beauty in having a vision is learning to trust God with it because he sees farther than you.
Therefore, If you are wondering when will it be your time? Trust the process and God to know he is protecting, preparing, and proving you to be ready for your season where you will soon shine. Stay encouraged and don’t lose sight of your vision. Congratulate others, and learn to be happy for them as they will soon be happy for you.
Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.