Where IVF Failed, God Prevailed: My Fertility and Birth Journey

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My name is Patricia-Dora Bastien and this is my testimony.

The Beginning of a New Chapter

I graduated from graduate school in May 2016, and by December 2016, I was married. I remember being on my honeymoon at the start of 2017, thinking it was baby-making time. However, I didn’t realize those words would echo in my mind as a long, arduous process rather than a simple desire.

Unexpected Trials

My husband and I went through a total of four miscarriages and a stillbirth before being blessed with our beautiful daughter, Yara. After the first two miscarriages, the doctor couldn’t give us any answers as to what was happening. Even after doing research, I didn’t know what to do.

We decided that maybe we should see a specialist or consider the IVF route. However, our doctor refused to give us a referral, stating, “The rule of thumb is that you have to miscarry three times to be considered.”

I was appalled and asked, “You want me to go through this again?” I vividly remembered the pain I experienced—both physically and emotionally—even the first time. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

A Ray of Hope

Thankfully, I spoke to my cousin, who was experiencing the same thing. She referred me to her doctor, who approved a referral to a specialist. The specialist recommended IVF as the best route.

When the process began, they first wanted us to try naturally, but that resulted in our third loss. Once time passed, we were fully engaged in the IVF process. I had 21 follicles, about 8–9 eggs were retrieved, 8 were fertilized, and only 2 became viable embryos.

Another Heartbreak

The day finally came for implantation, and we were pregnant for the fourth time. However, things followed the same painful pattern and ended the same way. I couldn’t understand what was going on—why this was happening to me. We had just used one of our two embryos, only to lose another pregnancy.

After some time, I gathered myself, persevered, and refused to give up hope. We transferred our last embryo, and everything seemed to be going well.

The Most Painful Goodbye

What appeared to be a successful pregnancy quickly turned into a short-lived dream. At five months, I began experiencing strange symptoms and went to the ER to find out what was happening. There, I was told—coldly—that I was losing the baby.

The sac that carried my daughter had dropped low into my cervix, and I was already dilated. Because of her position and discomfort, my water broke, and I had to go into labor knowing the outcome.

That was the most traumatic experience of them all. We endured the heartbreak of being in the maternity ward, surrounded by the sounds of newborn babies, while we mourned the loss of ours. Receiving congratulations that were unwarranted. I felt dismissed, unseen, and neglected during my hospital stay.

When we saw our daughter that day, she was the spitting image of her father. It was so hard, but that day, we said goodbye.

Broken but Not Defeated

Because of this, doctors told me I would never have a child naturally without IVF. Yet, every pregnancy had been labeled “unexplained.” I always wondered why I wasn’t given an emergency cerclage during my last pregnancy—I still can’t understand why that happened.

I broke down crying during my follow-up appointment, surrounded by mothers and their babies in the waiting room. I was trying to recover from the hurt and disappointment of it all.

A Miracle in Motion

Fast forward seven months—I realized I had missed a period. To my surprise, I was pregnant again. Though my numbers looked great, I felt numb to everything. I had heard all of this before, and my expectations were low.

But during my scan, my doctor spoke words of encouragement, telling me how great everything looked. I was pregnant by God’s grace—naturally, without the aid of IVF.

The moment I heard the heartbeat, I broke down in tears. I can honestly say that while I was excited and thankful, I was also nervous and anxious throughout the entire experience. A preventative cerclage was placed, and to our surprise, once it was removed, everything remained intact.

God’s Complete Restoration

By the end, I delivered my daughter naturally. Nothing the doctors predicted came to pass.

My cervix, which had opened prematurely in the last pregnancy, this time stayed strong—I was in labor for 18 hours before it even began to open. God literally reversed and restored all that I had lost.

•We got pregnant without IVF.

•We carried full term.

•A cerclage wasn’t needed.

•I delivered vaginally.

Letting Go and Letting God

That season of my life taught me to let go and let God. I naturally like to be in control, but through it all, I learned that I couldn’t control any of what I went through—I had to trust God’s timing and His hands over it all.

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