I Was Done With My Marriage—But God Saved It After 14 Years of Pain

Gretchen Augustin
Aug 5
3 min read

Updated: Aug 6

By Gretchen Augustin

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One Year Ago, I Was Ready to Walk Away

One year ago around this time, I was in a place I never thought I’d be—crying myself to sleep, feeling defeated, and sitting in what felt like the death of my marriage.

After 14 years of fighting for us, of giving everything I had, I was done. The only reason I stayed was God Himself.

Divorce Wasn’t Just on the Table—It Felt Inevitable

My feelings for my husband had faded. My heart had grown hard from the years of pain, disappointment, and rejection. Bitter roots had taken hold.

After everything I’d poured into our marriage and our family, he asked for a divorce. And this time, I was ready to give him exactly what he’d been asking for.

When All Hope Was Gone, God Held Me

I couldn’t stand the sight of him. My heart was shattered. I was broken, angry, and exhausted. I cried out to God—not for myself, but for my kids. I felt tormented, like a failure. The weight of keeping everything together had crushed me. Night after night I soaked my pillows in tears.

And yet… I still got up. I focused on what I could control. I started prioritizing self-care. I showed up at work. I showed up for my babies. I let go of hope in my husband, because it felt like hope had left the building long ago.

Crying Through the Night, Surviving by Grace

I didn’t know what would happen to our family. Some nights I lay in bed overwhelmed and anxious, falling asleep only because my body couldn’t carry the weight any longer.

God Can Still Restore What Looks Dead

After months of crying, fighting, and feeling broken beyond repair, I finally cried out to God. I asked Him for help—and He answered. He sent someone into my life to help me pray. But when God gently nudged me to pray for my husband, I refused.

God Began the Work—Even When I Refused to Pray

I couldn’t do it.

I couldn’t bring myself to utter even one kind word about him.

If I opened my mouth, all I wanted to say was, “God, curse him.”

But I knew better than to pray for anyone’s harm. So instead, I stayed silent.

While my prayer partner prayed, I just listened.

One day, she asked me to pray aloud for him.

I told her I couldn’t.

Every time I tried, it felt like my emotions were suffocating me.

She didn’t push. She just kept praying and gave me space, trusting that God would help me in His timing.

Woman sitting on the couch reading the Bible

From Broken to Brave: Leading in the Middle of the Mess

Then God placed The Power of a Praying Wife on my heart. I had the book, but it sat untouched on my dresser. Night after night, I’d look at it—and then go to sleep. I finally opened it and read the introduction and first chapter. To my surprise, I felt seen. The author, Stormie Omartian, understood exactly how I felt.

I even bought the audiobook to listen to on my commute. But as soon as she started talking about sex… I turned it off. I was done!

But God wasn’t done with me.

Praying Through the Pain—and Watching God Move

He sent me a friend—and then a couple of other women—who were also struggling in their marriages. Once again, The Power of a Praying Wife came up. This time, I listened.

I started a small group for wives who were hurting. I was honest from day one: I was still in the middle of the mess. We read the book together. We prayed through the guided chapters. We studied the armor of God. I didn’t feel qualified to lead anything—but God did. And He knew exactly what He was doing.

God Restored Our Marriage

Through obedience and prayer, God completely restored my marriage.

On July 18th, we celebrated 15 years of marriage with a quiet trip, just the two of us. If you saw the pictures, you’d never guess how close we came to ending it all.

But that’s what God does.

He brings life to dead places.

He restores what seems unrepairable.

He softens hearts, renews love, and rewrites stories