The IVF Warrior: Overcoming Infertility, Genetic Challenges, and Fibroids
- My Art of Vision
- 3 days ago
- 4 min read
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My name is Tamara Numa Richard and this is my testimony.
How My Love Story Began
My love story started on “Plenty of Fish,” where I ended up catching my big fish. If you’re unfamiliar, it’s an online dating platform. It was unconventional for me to even try, especially as a police officer who knew enough about online dating to be turned off by it. But I gave it a chance.
That’s where I met my now husband. Though I had been previously married and he already had children, we both knew exactly what we wanted. Neither of our pasts made us hesitate—instead, we grew closer and fell in love. After six months of dating, he proposed, and a year later, we were married in August 2015.
Pregnancy, Fibroids, and My First Loss
Six months after marriage in 2016, we found out we were pregnant. But during a routine checkup, I was told I had a fibroid—a benign growth in my uterus. I didn’t know much about it, but later I learned from my mother that she had them as well. At just 11 weeks, I lost that pregnancy, this was heartbreaking, this later pushed me to learn more about fibroids.
Surgery, a Blood Clot, and God’s Protection
So in 2017, my gynecologist recommended removing the fibroid. To achieve more success for future pregnancies. Therefore, I went forward with the surgery, but after just a week later I was rushed to the hospital due to a blood clot that caused a pulmonary embolism. I spent a week in the ICU, fearing I wouldn’t survive. Even preparing for it.
BUT GOD!
I survived, recovered, and slowly returned to normal life while managing the clot with blood thinners.
A Second Pregnancy and Another Heartbreak
A year later, I found out I was pregnant again. Due to the nature of my job I made a decision to not say anything. As I was only 6 weeks along, I withdrew from saying anything yet at work because I held on to the pressure of being a black female police officer in my mind and didn't want to jeopardize my duties and become a liability.
I drew to this conclusion remembering past treatment from my previous pregnancy.
But after my 8-week checkup, I learned I had lost the pregnancy again.
Sharing the news with my husband—with tears in my eyes and the ultrasound in my hand—was devastating. I prayed desperately for a miracle, but the loss was real.
Silence, Fear, and Emotional Withdrawal
As time passed without pregnancy, I knew something wasn’t right. Though I never used the word “infertility,” it weighed on me heavily. I became mentally defeated. I shut people out. I became closed off, to where I avoided intimacy with my husband, sometimes even picking fights during ovulation because I was afraid of getting pregnant again.
I watched myself grow older without children, and I grew angry with God.
The Pandemic & Discovering the Real Cause
Then came 2020. During the pandemic, my heart broke as I watched others announce pregnancies online. That’s when I told my husband maybe we should try IVF.
Taking that leap of faith finally revealed the truth:
I had a genetic condition called balanced translocation affecting chromosomes 13 and 14. Parts of them were fused together, causing my losses.
The IVF Journey: Sacrifice After Sacrifice
Our IVF clinic was located in Tampa, Florida. I spent months driving 4½ hours each way. The process drained us financially, physically, and emotionally. After long shifts at work, I would make the drive for consultations, tests, and procedures. Both hungry and tired but also determined.
I even found medication overseas in Turkey that cost $3,000 instead of $9,000. My husband and I endured hardship after hardship but never gave up. This journey stretched from late 2021 into 2022.
One Embryo. One Chance. One Promise.
Despite the pain of injections and the emotional rollercoaster, I ended with 12 follicles, 9 fertilized eggs, 6 by day 3, and 3 by day 5. After genetic testing, only one embryo remained.
We had one chance.
But life circumstances made us delay the transfer for a bit, but at the end of 2022, we finally drove to Tampa to complete it. On the drive home, I could feel something was different.
I was carrying my baby boy.
My family celebrated. My numbers were strong. My doctor encouraged me to enjoy the moment, reminding me that I deserved this joy after all the sacrifice. Once we passed the critical stage, I let myself believe and I finally enjoyed my pregnancy.
What It Took
It took:
2 miscarriages
A pulmonary embolism & blood clot
Loss of friendships
Financial sacrifice
Mental and emotional battles
Heartbreak & anger
Countless 4-hour drives
Multiple injections
1 embryo
And 9 years
To not just become a mother—but to finally meet my baby boy, Phoenix, at 36 weeks.
Even after an emergency C-section and my scar reopening I overcame that because my story lets me know nothing is impossible for God. My beautiful son shows me this.
My Advice to Anyone on This Journey
Therefore my advice to you is,
Find your tribe.
Though I lost friends along the way, I gained new ones that never allowed me to be sad and sheltered me in love.
Keep your hope alive. Don’t let grief stop you from living the way it stopped me for a season. I withdrew from life, stopped traveling, and stopped connecting, leading people to not know how to be there for me and I couldn't be there for them.
Talk about what you’re going through.
Someone may have knowledge that could ease your burden.
Closing Encouragement
Hold on to your faith. Lean into what you believe. And lean on those who believe with you.
Share this testimony with a friend 🧡 🔗
